Shit Banana, we've been ratted out!

Sorry Eve, you're not allowed to touch bananas, zucchinis, carrots and cucumbers either, stay tuned for more additions.

Is the article below real? At first it made me laugh, then feel sad, then want a banana. 

Honestly, I'm amused by people who think they have that divine right to be able to make statements that'll humiliate their religion. I like my religion, I actually love it, I'm so proud to be Muslim, but the religion I follow is different from what the world has been shown. I thought we're supposed to follow the Quran? Am I missing something? Sometimes I really believe someone wrote a spoof on it and that people have been picking up the wrong copy. Can we follow the real deal? Unless the below article was concluded by reading between the lines of this very possible spoof, this guy has a very small penis that has probably never been touched willingly. Sad face. 

However, as unfortunate as it must be to live in his terribly frustrated mind, he should feel guilty about his sexual fantasies with umm, God's food, on his own rather than trying to convince other people they're also feeling the same way. 

I really want to know how he even came up with this.

Ok sure, people have laughed about the shape of bananas, but I mean cmon.. if you're ACTUALLY getting turned on by them, the problem isn't the fruit. This part was amazing -"the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for [the women] in a hidden place so they cannot see it." I just got this mental image of a crazy woman in chains and a straitjacket who's too horny to be set free!

To you fundo men, learn to "control" your own urges and sexual frustrations rather than taking it out on women. You can't even handle the sight of a woman's ankle. Sex is part of life, deal with it, stop suppressing the thought of it. Teach women to respect their body, don't tell them what they can and can't think of. By what you demand, your way would be to have women sitting on the floor in a white room with their eyes shut and mouths open to be spoon fed mashed food by you and be ready to reproduce when you please. 

Please don't insult my God or my religion.

CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.

Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

[bikyamasr]