November 19, 2009

You have not showered yet if you haven't experienced this....

I just got treated to a very special bath, a Moroccan Bath to be specific. I’m kind of embarrassed it took me this long to discover the greatness of this experience. I feel like a new person…. I might actually be one. For those of you who have had one you know exactly what I’m talking about, for those of you who haven’t, let me tell you.

First off, remember the slightly “full” (lets be pc) woman in a yellow dress in the beginning of Aladdin who still thinks he’s rather tasty? If she was inspired by a real person, it would be this lady who escorted me to the changing room, and who to my lovely surprise would be giving me my bath. So I’m ordered to undress except for my undies and wait for the actual bath room to steam up. She’s just that kind of person you don’t question, if she says undress, you undress.

Of course, knowing my luck the steam decides not to work so she steams it up using the shower. The room steams up perfectly and I’m told to sit on the massage bed inside. She disappears and comes back wearing pretty much nothing but some silk lingerie-esque black mini dress.  We soon find out that the shower hose melted, so there we are in this small room, her trying to fix the shower, me sitting alone on the bed…. Awkward would be an understatement.

We start, despite the lack of steam, with her rubbing some olive soap on me. It was very smooth. I honestly just let go at that point and felt like I was three years old all over again. I mean it was hard not to with some big mamma holding on to and pretty much bathing me. To rinse me off I sat on a block and she used a bucket that she kept filling with water. Even though I was in a pretty fancy spa, I didn’t mind the steam being broken or the shower hose melting because I felt like I was getting the treatment the proper old-fashioned way.

I couldn’t help but have some mini internal panic attack during the next step. She started scrubbing me with some glove-like sponge. I seriously thought that she was trying to rip my body to shreds at that point. It’s a good thing she was friendly, she made it a comfortable experience… as comfortable as being scrubbed down vigorously by some stranger can be. This step is probably the most important slash most disgusting of them all. The amount of dead skin that gets rubbed off your body is disgusting. I’m pretty sure I lost 2 pounds of dead skin after that experience. The worst part is she KEPT telling me to look at the dead skin rolling off, as if having someone else see all that nastiness wasn’t bad enough. Through all the scrubbing, rinsing, having her huge chest stuffed in my face, I did feel a little violated… not gonna lie. 

The best part, yes surprisingly there was a best part, was the cucumber-mint cream she put all over me at the end. The smell was so fresh and so smooth and for once she was treating me with a bit more delicacy, which was a nice change after being virtually beaten up.

After my final rinse I was able to relax in the changing room and admire my new layer of skin, which fyi is as smooth as a babies butt. I know my experience was pretty dramatic, but I think it was as such because I had no clue what to expect. If you can afford it, I would definitely recommend getting a Moroccan bath at least once a month. Kind of feels like I waited 23 years to have a proper bath. Yeah, I know that sounds gross, but don’t even think about judging me if you haven’t experienced it :p