September 18, 2009

boys n girls: Classic Scenario II

A fact of life I've grown to learn (yes according to my 22 years) is that in many cases whenever you start using pressure and force to make two things fit together, something is amiss. Examples are seen everywhere from trying to force:

  • your jeans to close after thanksgiving dinner
  • the wrong key in a hole
  • the glass slipper on the ugly step sister
  • an incompatible boy and girl
Scenario: Lovely girl, great guy, don't really get to know each other that well, relationship loses any ounce of illusionary libido it might have had but for some reason it's so hard to leg go.

As two separate individuals you're great and everyone seems to think you're both catches. That's why the last thing you want is to lose this person everyone seems to love. Over time you hardly see this person but soon start to live through the very few fun times you shared (most of which were at the beginning when you didn't know each other that well). You hope that things will get better and expect wonderful loving times you will have in the future. I blame Disney.

Suddenly, it's not only you, everyone around you starts noticing how sour the relationship has become but you're just not ready to let go. All you can think of are those fun times you NEED to fulfill, which will prove everyone wrong. The "unfinished business."

Sorry to say this but unless your relationship is a remake of Casper the Friendly Ghost (unlikely), unfinished business does not apply. If you're not compatible in the beginning, get ready for a long and frustrating search to find the road to love and there's no time to build a fake one that's sturdy enough. Of course there are exceptions. Please don't convince yourself you're one of them, let it get proven to you. Don't make excuses for the other person either, suck it up and leg go. Trust me, I know all too well that it's not easy and it takes a lotta discipline. Ultimately, if it's meant to be in the future then it'll happen without any force at all.

You're probably reading this with a grain of salt because you would NEVER try to indirectly force someone to like you or force a relationship to work.... You'd be surprised how easy it is for even the most logical of us to come up with reasons to back up the unhealthy, psychotic obsessive acts we are capable of!

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