egypt redefined

bahahaha. sad.

meet unamused kitty

i checked out a pet store last weekend.

this is the room they kept all the dogs in, with the exception of unamused kitty- who i fell in love with.

 i think what was most entertaining was how it was so composed in comparison to the dogs who were crying and barking in pain like the world would crumble any second if they weren't let out. unamused kitty don't care.

basically it hated its life.

too funny: cat friend vs. dog friend

some things they should have rated R

how did they expose this to us when we were younger? HOW?! i don't think a night went by without me imagining malificent's green eyes in the dark with that eerie theme. that wh*%e of a woman ruined my life... and my parents'.

die.

zag expression

meet solitaire

my friend's cat is the feline dopellganger of the afghan girl.

we're all very proud.

xx

Dog's Diary vs. Cat's Diary

"in an attempt to disgust them, i once again vomit on the carpet" - cat

amazing.

according to the dr.

seriously??

only in the 21st century.

when to run for your life

who wouldn't react that way.

xx

WATCH ME: "i'll have what she's having"

the power of the fake orgasm. #justsayin. props to meg.

xx

WATCH ME: hbo's GIRLS

"on the totem of chat, the lowest form of communication is facebook, followed by gchat, then texting, then email, then phone. face to face is, of course, ideal, but it's not of this time," - marnie, GIRLS.

one of the highlights of my weekend was a delicious dinner at heirloom cafe in the mission and then a cozy sleepover in the city at my family friend's apt. something i love about restaurants here is how they're so prepared to serve food for people who have food sensitivities (comme moi) so you always feel taken care of and #loved.

my family friend zeena, who never fails to impress, then introduced me to the progressive hbo show GIRLS by exec producer judd apatow (knocked up, 40 year old virgin, bridesmaids+) and i have to say i'm sorta kinda probably a little  obsessed with it. it's almost like sex & the city but better, minus the bling and geared towards girls in their early twenties (but you'll find it funny at any age imo). the acting is so raw and really sucks you in. just don't watch it with your parents cuz you know... they ain't with the timez. they'd consider it heresy and assume the worst, then lock you up and bury the key and all its copies in a putrid dugout somewhere in sinai.  well, maybe that's a bit extreme, but at least my dad would consider it. i'm just saying he doesn't need to be exposed. he once asked me if it's normal for a man to hold a woman's hand on a second date. "only if it went REALLY well," i replied in disgust as i turned my prude halo onto its high beams. 

watch it, i guarantee you'll laugh.

xx

this post really cracked me up

yes.


a snippet from "how to suck at your religion." by the oatmeal. 

xx

orangutan addicts anonymous

this really cracked me up even though it's actually quite sad. glad they're attending to the addiction. hope withdrawals aren't too tough on torie.

xx

i spent the last month laughing my a$$ off

because caitlan moran is such a funny, witty writer. her book "how to be a woman" will entertain you from start to finish. i have to admit there were a few references i didn't get; mainly because i didn't grow up in england, but most of it is just plain hilarity. a british broadcaster, tv critic and columnist at the times; she won the british press awards (bpa) columnist of the year '10 and the bpa critic of the year '11. the book follows her life from a young age in such an amusing way, covering the most awkward situations. she promotes the idea of feminism as simply protecting female rights and not the typical ideology that feminist women run around burning their bras and hating men. i've attached a few excerpts that really cracked me up. they don't do it justice though. 

on the versatile and indirect prevalence of sexism despite it not being as obvious as the past:

on the expectations of every woman to have children:

on weddings:

if you want a good laugh pick it up asap. 

xx

r brains r amazing

F1gur471v3ly 5p34k1ng? Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind: 7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15.

if he says...

... he's a keeper.

xx

i dare you

to follow some of these at work. my friend dalia sent me these dares and i actually laughed out loud reading quite a few of them. creating, being in, and watching awkward moments, is basically my life. i highly recommend you to follow suit. 

ONE-POINT DARES
 1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
 2.To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your  ears and grimace. (lol)
 3.Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
 4.Walk sideways to the photocopier.
 5.While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors open.
 6.When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder  and pretend it wasn't you.
 7.Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..." (so annoying)
 8.Don't use any punctuation.
 9.Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh. (i'd so do this)
 10.Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

THREE-POINT DARES 
 11.Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barreled fingers. (crinnnge worthy)
 12.Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
 13.Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
 14.Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
 15.Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
 16.Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout,  "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.
 17. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.
 18. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any pornography web sites. (yesss)
  

kinky.

one of my favorite pubs this time around in beirut was february 30. i say that like i was hopping all around town (i went to two) it was just so creatively set up and my passionfruit martini was oh so yummy. check out their fun napkins. don't count on waking up alone with that hanging out of your back pocket though ;)

xx

getaway in bahrain

being born and raised in bahrain means it'll always be a special lil island for me, so spending the weekend there was refreshing and just what i needed. regardless of all the shiii going on there, i always find it so peaceful and happy, especially in comparison to the uae where i'm sure the trees judge us. this trip was the first leg of my summer journey, and was of course for a wedding. despite the brevity of our stay, it was all about relaxing, catching up with old friends and being idiots with some of my closests. 

how to enjoy your flight: go wild with a camera. somehow it doesn't get old.

attempt normalcy. fail.

(excuse yazzy on the left, she never gets it)

get more excited.

 count on me to push the dork limits.

make psycho look reasonable.

attempt the roller coaster.

 (please check out ali's face in the back - absolutely priceless)

attempt normalcy again. fail.

 (ali needs to get out more)

 try to look hot, but lose hope after 15 unsuccessful shots.  

xx penguina